Weigh in and return to work

I am not sure how, but I have dropped to 74.3kg according to the official weigh in this morning. That means I exceeded my Round 4 goal by a little bit, which I am so pleased with. So I am holding my head high in this final week of the round. I don’t know where that came from but I am happy to see it! I did weigh myself yesterday and was 74.4 so I was pretty sure that would be up again today!! It feels good. I will post the rest of the stats properly once I have completed the whole fitness test.

First week at work and I have to say Monday was AWFUL. Little L is distraught being at daycare, we were both crying as I walked out. He has bawled each day this week and it just breaks my heart into more pieces each day. The staff are being really lovely, but but I still feel like a traitor for leaving him. I know it will get better, but it feels likes forever right now.tumblr_mcx6cwltc81rnzm2eo1_500

Work? Well it is ok, just a start, talk about feeling inadequate when you don’t get there until 9am and leave at 3pm for school pickup. I am fortunate that my boss is very understanding and I will be able to just bring stuff home to do. It is hard to turn my brain onto that world with all of the acronyms (it is true what they say about the military, it is a whole new language when you get into it) and in the 18 months I have been away, things have changed a bit.

I tell you I was surprised how second nature it was to put my hair in a bun and put my uniform on. I could have done all of it with my eyes closed. It was all pretty comfortable – though my rash for being at work and having it on may take months to clear up! I am hoping that my weapon handling will be as second nature now as it has always been in the past, just like doing my boots up.

I always find starting a new job to be daunting, we tend to change jobs every second year so you just have to suck it up. As I am sure it is with anywhere, you have to go and prove yourself in the new place. But with us, it is not only in the work you do, but also physically. By passing your fitness tests and keeping up in physical training (PT) sessions. Unfortunately, I won’t be in work early enough (with school drop off) to attend the PT sessions. What really surprises me is that I am disappointed by this! I am pretty happy with my fitness at the moment and I think I would do alright. At other points of my career I would dread having to front up to a session. They can be brutal, especially when you do battle PT, but certainly awesome for team building and endurance.

Mother guilt is a true phenomenon (in case there are any doubters). I am feeling like I am never going to do the right thing by anyone at the moment – work (there too short a time to really do the job I would like to), Little L (deserting him with people he doesn’t know where he is clearly unhappy), home (where everything is not being done – EVER), me (how will I get up early enough to get my exercise in and get the meals sorted out?) and of course Big D (but, he is busy too!). I guess this is just life. I know there are millions of people doing the same thing, but it doesn’t make it feel any easier!

Everyone will tell me the key is being organised – but this is just another area I feel like I am doing a crap job.  Anyone else feeling the same?


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