So I go around again…

Ok, so it has been a few days and you won’t be surprised to learn that my program has been anything BUT up to scratch. The last workout I did was last Thur when I did two in one day with my Hot Yoga). I didn’t even manage my SSS after not getting up early enough on Sat (I know another surprise) then Little L came down sick through the afternoon and night. Poor little thing couldn’t eat dinner Sat night then woke with a temp over 39 degrees Sun and Mon. Thankfully we got into the doctor and she confirmed his little (or not so little) tonsils are huge and covered in pus (is that too much detail?). Not wonder he is miserable and won’t let me put him down!

So Little L and I are at home, today I finally did my first workout in what feels like forever. But him being sick does add additional challenges to remaining on track, but it also serves as a convenient excuse. The workout was good, as always, great to be sweaty, I had hoped to do a double just to try and catch up a little, but when I had to settle Little L three times in the workout, I ran out of time! But the good news is I will see my new trainer on Friday and he will, in all likelihood, kick my butt to the kerb. Wish me luck with that!

This HAS to be me!

This HAS to be me!

So, having taken the time with a coffee I watched ‘Extreme Makeover – Weightloss Edition’. Have you seen it? I have got to say, I think Chris Powell is just one of the best looking and genuine dudes on TV. Holy crap, in the episode I watched he came out in some boardies to jump in the pool, I nearly choked! I would love the opportunity to be trained by him (for more than just the obvious reason!). Wouldn’t it be great to have someone dedicated, who takes the time to get to know you and REALLY know your limits?

What is frustrating about this continued slump is that I feel like I am going around in circles. I do well, I fail, do ok, then fail. It is like I keep learning the lesson, just to go backwards again. I suspect this is a bit what self sabotage looks like. But why do it? I do know that I worry how I will be when I get to my goal weight, not to mention how will I stay there. It is concerning how easy it is to disregard all that I know that is good for me and ‘treating’ myself or ignoring how bad the choice is I have made. It is a constant battle, one that I really want to win but seem to take the easy option all too easily.

I also know there is a sense of being overwhelmed. Starting back at work hasn’t been without its difficulties. I felt like I didn’t have enough time to fit in everything I needed to and wanted to do before I went back to work, and now it is worse that I have three days at work with more things to do there. Being part-time you can’t help but feel like you are short changing those that work with you.

I know there a millions of people managing, do they all find it easier than me or are they suffering in silence? I need to learn to compromise more (which I do already, you should see the state of the house!) and then not beat myself up about the choice I make.

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