A long absence….

A long absence I know. But I have been thinking constantly about the blog and what I would like to write here. Seriously I could never sleep if I typed all the drafted posts in my head. It is no different to my journal that sits neglected beside my bed. I have always had a journal on the go, at least since sometime in Primary School, but it too is taking on more dust than ink at present.

I am generating lots of thoughts, plans and ideas in my head which range from my daughters upcoming birthday party, my exercise regime, what meals to cook, where to holiday for some respite after this posting, can I take time off before studying next year, what will I study, what if I don’t like it, what if I fail, I need to file better, how can I manage all this paperwork, I need to do those sewing jobs…it is endless. I am tired and feeling overwhelmed by life. Which led me to this blog that should help me get on with life…..it talks about embracing your overwhelm, nice in principle but I am not there yet. You can find the page here.

Things have been really hectic at our place, the winter has not been kind to us with everyone getting sick including a five week stint with a cold for me too. Big D is having a hectic time at work, as am I, although to a much lesser degree. We both have the same project on, but he is seriously feeling it, poor guy has not been in bed before 1.00am in longer than I can remember. For me it means I am less organised with the meals because I am not getting home early enough (due to my work and then picking up the kids). Everything at night is happening later and we are all getting less sleep. Awesome. But we are managing.

Now, through all of the mess in my head I have started two things that I have always wanted to do (I think on a bucket list I wasn’t entirely aware of in my head) – I have started baking bread (although I have still not conquered my fear of yeast!) and getting some personal training with my boxing!

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My first loaf of ‘bucket bread’.

Now I have always enjoyed boxing, I did a little but when I was in basic training. But since all of that time it has mostly been fitness boxing, where all the movements are in the arms and not really looking after your footwork or form. So I have found an ex-title holding boxer locally who is teaching me properly. I have been to see him four times so far and he has already seen lots of improvement. He even commented that he thinks I may have been a heavy weight in a former life! That really warmed my heart – I am sure that is something not everyone would like to hear!!

I have been contemplating what my next move will be fitness wise. With Big D being so busy I have not had much opportunity to get to yoga (dammit) and to the circuits at work, hardly managing the lunch time sessions. I was thinking I could looking to go back to 12WBT, but I am not sure I am ready for that right now. I read a really interesting blog ‘how to lose friends and piss people off’ that talks about doing the 12WBT and kind of developing really unhealthy habits of too little food and too much exercise. I can certainly see where Amber is coming from if you haven’t seen it, check it out. I just can’t see the six exercise sessions a week being sustainable long term. Now don’t get me wrong, I am loving exercise at the moment and would love to train that often, but I am finding it hard to fit it in and to be honest this now 40 year old body is showing some signs of wear!

Now as part of my rapid brain movement I do tend to read bits and pieces online that are interesting . Another great page a I came across the ‘Body Image Movement’. Now this is one brave woman! Taryn has a great story and I love that she has gone out to follow a path that she believes in. Anyway, this is all about accepting you as you are. I love the idea, but haven’t quite got there yet. I bought her e-book and haven’t really progressed at this stage (might just explain why I am seeking out my next  exercise regime?). I have so much admiration for Taryn, I look forward to not being so scared to move to that next stage in life. She has a great smoothly recipe on the page that includes maca and protein powder, spinach and a few more ingredients. So I popped to the health food store to spend $100 (on more than these items!) and I really love her green smoothy. It is more appealing than some others I have see since it has spinach rather than kale or other exotic veges. Plus it is just a blender not a juicer. One issue is how much a scoop of protein powder is – mine doesn’t have a scoop in it or an indication of how much you should have…minor detail.

Speaking of next stage, I think I will finish up this career at the end of the year. Pretty much made the decision, just need to come up with some dates and negotiate some time off with Big D. It is exciting and terrifying.  steve-jobs-quote-0022

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